White People, they're just like US!

My husband, Chris, is a celebrity. I didn't know this before we got married, but since we moved to India it's becoming more and more apparent. He's likely one of the most popular people in Lucknow. People crowd around to meet him, 'accidentally' bump into him, snap his picture when he is and isn't looking, hand him their babies to hold, or simply just stare at him while he's doing what everyone else is doing: riding his bike, purchasing groceries, walking, eating, talking. One man at the bazaar, actually yelled to the patrons around us "Oh my GOD! Look, a white guy, buying kerosene lamps! Look Look!" (White People, they're just like US!) Naturally, a crowd formed around Chris and I. I now know how zoo animals must feel. 

Being South-Asian, I always knew that lighter skin is valued over tanner skin but I never fully understood the obsession until I moved here. The glorification of being white or light-skinned has actually really surprised me, particularly because I know plenty of lighter-skinned people who would kill for a permanent tan like most Indians. The look of complete shock and disgust on Indian faces when I tell them that people in the US actually spray themselves (including the current Republican candidate for President, Mitt Romney) to darken their skin, is priceless. The latest trend that I've seen here is not only to lighten your face or your hands but your vagina. I'm now seeing this obsession through the eyes of a (proudly) brown woman married to a white man. 

Many people Chris and I have met are surprised to learn that we are married. Some have immediately asked me "Were your parents there?"other have wanted proof of our marriage and so asked "If you're married, where are the kids?" When we explain that we've only been married a few months, they respond with "Oh, ok, so you must be trying?!" (Hello, nice to meet you. Yes, I'm ready to discuss my sex life with you.) The most interesting conversation I had was with a woman who simply could not understand why a white man would ever want to marry a "Desi-Larki" or  woman of South-Asian decent. She was convinced that I came from a lot of money or something else had to explain how Chris and I could possibly be married. 

Since arriving in Lucknow, I've needed to pick up face wash or a moisturizer a few times. At several stores, I discovered that it is extremely rare to find face wash or a moisturizer that doesn't contain bleaching elements.  So I tend to stand in the aisle reading over my options several times (the quantity and quality of products seems to change daily) to ensure I find one intended to moisturize and not lighten my skin. Three times now, while browsing, a salesclerk has asked if I need help, when I tell her (all three happen to have been female) what I am looking for, she points to Chris and asks who he is. I respond by telling her that he's my husband and in turn she says "ok!" and hands me a tube of "Fair and Lovely." I respectfully tell her that I need something without bleaching elements and she points to Chris and says "....but your husband is so white" (the implication being 'and so you should be too!') and each time I just walk away.  

I never really paid much attention to our racial differences because to be honest, they don't matter much to us. Chris and I both believe in equality for all, regardless of race, class, gender, religion, or sexual orientation. So outside of ensuring that our wedding respected both our racial, ethnic, and religious traditions, I have never really thought much about my race or the color of my skin in comparison to Chris' because there is no comparison. Unfortunately, that's not the case here. 

White, brown, purple, pink, orange, yellow, black, the color of your skin shouldn't matter, we are all just people. I wish more Indians, actually the world, felt the same way. It's only a matter of time before we all become a hybrid of one another, no one race should be considered superior over another. The world is mixing, as comedian Russell Peters explains, and there is nothing anything can do about it.